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"How's your day going?" There's a dramatic pause, followed by a huge exhaust of air. "WELL, I think I pissed someone off and if so, I might have to be evicted." The level of indifference this statement is said with catches me off guard to the point that I must do a double take. The youngest of the Kardashian-Jenner clan checks her phone, a smile spreading over the most famous lips in America. "Oh, okay, phew. Crisis averted. BACK TO NORMAL BUSINESS," and just like that, with no further explanation at all, I have Kylie Jenner's full attention.
   "So, Kylie, if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?" There's another long pause and Kylie looks down to an unknown point as she drifts into contemplation. It's clear that years of experience from being on what is quite easily considered the most popular reality TV series in America has groomed this young starlet into knowing a well thought out answer is less risky than responding with the first thoughts that come to mind.
   Her eyes return to mine and I know I have her full attention again. "I don't think I'd necessarily change anything about the way I raised," she begins cautiously, "rather just the circumstances I was raised. Growing up on camera was really, really hard for me at first. I never felt like I was a normal person, and because I'm the

youngest, I feel like I need to always prove myself to my older sisters. They're so accomplished and I really want to be able to hold my own and show everyone that I'm not just blessed because of what family I come from, but that I can work hard and be passionate about things I love too. Another thing that was really hard was the last few years of my parents' marriage. We always knew that something was wrong because they were never happy together, and I feel like if my parents had been more honest with each other from the jump, their relationship wouldn't have ended up as strained as it is now." There's a hint of sadness, but overall, this tone of determination in her voice that reminds me that she may only be 19, but the years have been full of real life lessons most don't get introduced to until the twenties or thirties.
   There are layers here, and it seems as though few have cared enough to try to reveal them. "What turns you on creatively? Spiritually? Emotionally?" Without hesitations: "Creatively, I love people who aren't afraid to just be genuine. I've had a really hard time being accepted for a lot of the things I do because of how much negativity I get, but I don't let it stop me. It's really just about being unapologetically you and doing and/or creating what makes you happy. And I think that kind of goes with what turns me on spiritually too. I don't care what religion you practice, it's about what
kind of energy you're putting out into the world and the way you treat and love the people around you." It's as though she's read my own mind. "Those that are closest to me know that I am a whirlwind of emotions," -- I do believe she has told me 'I am crazy lmao' within the last 72 hours --"I can from go to happy to sad in two seconds flat, and my mom's always said that I'm the most sensitive of her children. I don't think there's any bigger turn on than someone who won't turn your emotions into weapons to be used against you, it takes a big person to be empathetic and really just understand and be there for you."
   The fact that her answers move and impress me only reminds me how easy it has become to accept a false shallow view of certain celebrities, even when you're a celebrity yourself. "So then what do you most value in your friends?" I have asked this question with an ulterior motive, wanting to ensure I remain in her good graces in the future.
   The smile that spreads over her face is undeniable at the mention of the word "friends", and I feel like she's stopping herself from sharing a plethora of juicy stories about them. "Let me just say that my friends are the greatest. I have never felt so loved and accepted in my life by people who didn't share my blood. I could have a meltdown over the smallest thing, or just have a really bad day and be a mega
bitch, and I know that my friends will always be there, and never look at me differently. Some of my closest friends and I have such a high level of communication, and I really value that because sometimes I feel that we all get a little blindsided by our own problems, and our issues or anxiety, so when I get a little selfish, it's nice to have friends who bring me back down to earth and shake me out of it." I can't tell if I'm part of this friend group that communicates well. I decide it's best if I just sip my kale smoothie quietly.

   "What is the trait you most deplore in others, then?" Yet again, another attempt at cracking the best friendship code. I hear her "besties" get free lip kits, and I can only hope to get on her list. This question has stumped her, as she looks up at the ceiling, "Oh God...a trait, ummm...," There is a long pause between us as I don't wish to distract her thought process. She makes this really furrowed expression when she thinks; it's interesting. "Well I guess I just
could never approve of anyone hateful or judgemental," -- a bit of a cop out, but I'll let her have it --"I'm usually very flexible and understanding when it comes to things people do, that may be considered a 'bad' trait, but there's just no reason to give off a negative vibe. I think everyone should know well enough that you're not always going to like everyone, or some things may not be your thing, but there's no reason whatsoever to drag others down." I restrain the urge to make a "Drag Me Down" joke. Now is not the time, Harry.
   I smile at her, sighing a bit. "We've reached the end of this little chit chat adventure. So why don't we just finish with a twisted bang -- do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?" Kylie has always seemed to me to be someone who is very in-tune with her surroundings and the world. There's no physical evidence to support this gut feeling I have, but it's just a sense you get about her, even as she's clicking through stupid Spongebob memes on her phone to show me.
   My question clearly catches her off guard as she looks up from her phone with a perplexed face. "What a weird question, I don't think I have a secret hunch about how I'll die," she says, drawing out her thought a bit as she's trying to work through her response fully. It's clear she's trying not to give me a simple answer, but some material I can truly work with for the interview, "but I hope I die doing something
 amazing like, skydiving or exploring the jungle. I also hope that if the latter happens, I go out saying 'EAT A DICK JUNGLE' true Archer style."
   There's a bit of a proud head nod when she finishes, a smile at me because she knows I, of all people, will understand the reference. I give her a smirk, shaking my head a little in mock shame at her. "This was fun," I tell her, standing as I collect my sunnies along with the rest of my belongings. "Thank you for allowing me to get to know you on the inside," I tell her, dropping my sunnies on the bridge of my nose before pointing at her. "Phrasing. Boom."